I do not know maybe it is a recent weather or just me being moody but this week I have decided to share a very unusual piece of writing with you guys.
Last year I took a creative writing class. It was the first writing class ever for me so I felt both super-excited and deeply scared at the same time. Every week, the instructor was giving us a lecture on a writing topic and then a homework exercise. Such assignments were usually limited by a number of characters, a topic, or a beginning first sentence. The piece below was one of the assignments, and the instructions to which were simple: choose one of the five different things that you hate and describe it somehow so it is easy to picture for a reader and limit your response to 500 characters.
Well, I ended up writing this.
“There are quite a few things that I cannot stand. I hate stupidity in all its dimensions. I also cannot bear endlessly dirty apartments and their lazy couch-potato tenants. I try to avoid ‘big talkers’ and their forced and unwanted opinions about every single thing. And I really loathe snakes.
The only thing that I hate as much as all the things above but I cannot avoid is… wet clothes. I know, now you are going to roll your eyes at me and say that it is completely illogical and incomparable to put some wet jeans on the same scale as snakes. I hear you! But you have to give me credit – I live in Seattle and, for the record, there are a lot more days when I have to run somewhere with my soaked clothes stuck to my skin than the days when I see a snake slithering around.
Honestly, this is the most often thing that happens to me and makes me want to cringe the moment I even think about it . Look, summer in Seattle is gorgeous – one instance of rain in three months is a damn good summer to me! Then, fall comes and it starts. It rains every day all day long. I would like to have a chance to fall into hibernation until everything is back to normal again around May or June, but life happens. Again and again, I have to run through the rain to catch my bus.
Don’t get me wrong; I do my best to stay dry. In fact, it has been my number-one mission since I moved to Washington. Umbrella, raincoat, extra set of clothes… All of those are in action. Nevertheless, there is still this feeling – soggy jeans stuck to my legs, cold and stiff, and heavier than usual. My skin slowly turns blue, shivers start running up and down, and my hair stands on end. Every single move gives me a cold rush and subconsciously I try to move as little as possible. There are always a few drops that fall onto my neck behind my collar. That is when I start shaking and chatter my teeth. At this point, I don’t care about where I am going or why. I don’t care if I look mad, annoyed or unattractive. I hate every second of it and just try to keep my composure until I reach my destination. I am able to do so almost every time unless… I am lucky enough to step in a puddle. In this case, shivers start partying crazy on my skin, which is in the color of a reptile. That is when I start promising myself to gain some weight and never be a-110 pound-girl again. You see, the bones are getting cold easily, to my regret.
Only when everything is over and I can watch the rain from the inside while buttoning up my warm and dry second hoody, life feels good again and I can’t stand only snakes, ‘big talkers’, dirtiness with laziness and stupidity. Until the next rain comes.”
P.S. Of course, I could not keep it under the character limit. And no, it does not rain that badly here, in the Emerald city. Nevertheless, wet clothes are still the one of my least favorite things in the world.